One of Those Moments

Today I had one of those feel good moments that have made the last few emotionally draining days fade away. Benjamin was sick again with a high fever and no other signs besides being absolutely miserable. No ear infection, strep, congestion-nothing. So as it was a few weeks ago with the same symptoms, minus the diarrhea, we headed to the hospital for some more tests. In the past 48 hours, Benjamin has endured a cath urine test which was unsuccessful so we had to put a bag on him to catch the urine, multiple sticks for blood, and me shooting saline in his nose. He's been miserable and yes, I've been exhausted.

Everything came back negative which is really, really good but still leaves the question as to what he's been fighting off. He's better now but next week we have to go for an echocardiogram on his heart to check out his cyanosis. If you look cyanosis up it gives a scary description of a condition that you just don't want. His is not that grave. He's always had the blue coloration to his lips and feet and hands but the feet and hands have since returned to normal, his lips have not. Our pediatrician whom we love, was not happy with the fact that it hasn't gone away so he's ordered this test to rule out any underlying problems. We would really covet your prayers on this one.

Okay, so I got a bit sidetracked but here's my moment that Benjamin shared with me this morning. He likes to take a bath but it takes him by surprise at first so there's always a whine or two. Today he had a poo poo explosion as we like to call them so off to a bath he went. I put him in slowly and he started fretting really loudly and he was looking away from me. Suddenly he turns his head to face me, locks his eyes with mine and I say something about how it will be okay and he smiles and stops fretting. This was the first time that he seemed like he meant to look for me for comfort. I know he's always done this, that's what I do, I'm his mom and I comfort him but having him actually look for me for comfort almost made me cry.

I love those moments and I know that there are more to come. Did I mention that he looks for Rob and I when we start talking....we love it!