I made a list but didn't check it twice.

Believe it or not, this is the first chance I've had to write in a while, Amy, I'm sure you understand! Christmas has come and gone and we had a good first Christmas with Benjamin. The grandparents came to our house on Christmas day where we enjoyed my festive spice drink that's been a tradition for us, good ham with the trimmings, and great dessert. Benjamin was a bit fussy since he had a cough but overall he was a trooper amongst the craziness that goes with the holidays.

Do you ever have a good idea in theory but come to find that's it's really a bad one? This year I thought I would get the grandparents those mold impressions of Benjamin's hands. Can we say disaster? I either got the mold way to wet or way to hard and I think I ended up sticking Benjamin's feet in it thinking that might work easier, once again I was wrong. Rob was holding Benjamin while I put his feet into the mold. Needless to say Benjamin loved the squishy feeling on his feet but Rob did not like it when Benjamin started to kick in it which resulted in Rob's arms being coated with plaster. Anyway, I quickly gave up this fantabulous idea and opted for sticking Benjamin's feet in blue ink and making a nice little token on his inky feet. This went MUCH better but he still has one blue toe. I'll take this one as a victory.

Sadie loves Christmas. She got a football for Christmas, the other 8 footballs that she has in the backyard are frozen and are waiting for garbage pickup.

It's funny and so nice to see how my father is totally taken with Benjamin. I don't think that Benjamin could do wrong in his eyes and he loves taking care of Benjamin. Don't get me wrong, his grandmas love him too but my father is just floored by him. Of course it doesn't help when Benjamin lights up like a Times Square Christmas tree when he's with him. In this picture, he's looking at his grandpa even though I'm holding him.

Christmas was great this year and we're thankful that our family as a whole is healthy and happy. Sometimes I can forget about that and it's the most important.

We Saw Santa!

We saw Santa and we barely waited in line. Of course it didn't hurt that we were first in line and then Benjamin fell asleep, hence the sleepy look on his face. I was so proud of my Little Man that he didn't cry or anything, he seems to be good with strangers.

I love consignment shops, I really do. I love the fact that I can go in, spend about $20 and walk out with 10 outfits-it's magic! They're in great shape too!

Tomorrow, Rob and I will attempt to make plaster molds of Benjamins hands but we're thinking that maybe his feet will be easier to do. Rob says I don't know what I'm talking about since I was completely out of it in the hospital when they inked his feet and hands. Apparently Benjamin didn't take to well to this. Maybe this is why it looks like he only has 4 toes on one of his feet....

It snowed soooo much the other night, it was quite pretty and I caught myself fast forwarding to next year and how Benjamin will be able to enjoy the snow, well at least experience it.

We're ready for Christmas, we're hosting it this year as Rob and I have done since we were engaged in 2004. I really do like to host Christmas, it's quite fun and it fabulous that the Grandparents take care of Benjamin so we get a little breather.

We've mastered two things in the past few weeks. One, Benjamin officially sleeps through the night and two, he's going back to falling asleep on his own at night. Even though I miss the snuggle time we always had at night, having him fall asleep on his own is quite nice.

It's going to be a great Christmas and I hope that all of my family and friends who read this will also have a wonderful Christmas. I know a lot of folks are down this year since money is tight but let's be thankful that we live in a free country, we have family and friends, troops who fight for us, healthy kids, and a God who loves us no matter what.

Merry Christmas!!!!

One of Those Moments

Today I had one of those feel good moments that have made the last few emotionally draining days fade away. Benjamin was sick again with a high fever and no other signs besides being absolutely miserable. No ear infection, strep, congestion-nothing. So as it was a few weeks ago with the same symptoms, minus the diarrhea, we headed to the hospital for some more tests. In the past 48 hours, Benjamin has endured a cath urine test which was unsuccessful so we had to put a bag on him to catch the urine, multiple sticks for blood, and me shooting saline in his nose. He's been miserable and yes, I've been exhausted.

Everything came back negative which is really, really good but still leaves the question as to what he's been fighting off. He's better now but next week we have to go for an echocardiogram on his heart to check out his cyanosis. If you look cyanosis up it gives a scary description of a condition that you just don't want. His is not that grave. He's always had the blue coloration to his lips and feet and hands but the feet and hands have since returned to normal, his lips have not. Our pediatrician whom we love, was not happy with the fact that it hasn't gone away so he's ordered this test to rule out any underlying problems. We would really covet your prayers on this one.

Okay, so I got a bit sidetracked but here's my moment that Benjamin shared with me this morning. He likes to take a bath but it takes him by surprise at first so there's always a whine or two. Today he had a poo poo explosion as we like to call them so off to a bath he went. I put him in slowly and he started fretting really loudly and he was looking away from me. Suddenly he turns his head to face me, locks his eyes with mine and I say something about how it will be okay and he smiles and stops fretting. This was the first time that he seemed like he meant to look for me for comfort. I know he's always done this, that's what I do, I'm his mom and I comfort him but having him actually look for me for comfort almost made me cry.

I love those moments and I know that there are more to come. Did I mention that he looks for Rob and I when we start talking....we love it!

Our Little Jar of Poo

It's pretty funny if you think about it-The things you willingly and selflessly do when you have a baby. You pick boogers out of their nose, defuzz their fingers and toes, lick your fingers to fix their hair and you carry around poo. Yes, that's what I said. I had to take a poo sample to the hospital today and let me tell you, I was never so happy to have Benjamin poo his diaper, stink and all. So here comes the funny part. How do you get runny, stinky poo off of a diaper and into a specimen jar? A spoon. Yep, I had to scoop up my son's poo with a spoon and dump it in a jar. Oh and here's the best part-driving in the car with a jar of poo in your console and walking through the hospital with it...can you imagine the looks I got? I thought it would be hilarious if I got pulled over and the officers would ask that question 'do you have anything suspicious or something that could hurt me in your car'. I would have to reply 'why yes, I have poo in a jar'. I wondered if they would believe me? I think I made a girl sick in the waiting room, sitting there with my jar of poo, she looked a little green... Oh, and I threw the spoon in the trash. No amount of clorox bleach would make me eat off of that spoon ever again.

Benjamin is 1 Month Old!

I don't even know where to start! I can't believe that he is already one month old! It's quite funny also that today, finally his belly button fell off-I know what you're thinking "That thing lasted a month?" My thoughts exactly.

During the past 30 days, I've learned so much. I've learned that Benjamin has a favorite blanket, he likes to watch Survivor, he hates formula (which is fine with me!) and Wal-Mart but loves the library. I've learned that it's best to have a spit rag with you at ALL TIMES because boys pee everywhere and can pee on walls at the young age of 2 weeks old. I've also learned that when you become a mother, your heart does amazing things. I honestly didn't know that your heart could feel so many emotions and love someone so much. I never considered myself a patient person but I have incredible patience, that of a saint as my husband thinks when it comes to Benjamin's 'fussy' times.

I've already done 'the worst possible thing to my son'. I was trimming his nails, which I've done at least 3 times already and I accidentally cut his finger and the darn thing would not stop bleeding. I of course call the pediatrician freaking out and having an official meltdown trying to find out what to do. 3 days later, his finger is almost as good as new.

Benjamin is growing like a weed! Some of his clothes don't fit him anymore and his hair is getting thicker and more golden. His eyes have lightened to a steel blue color and he still keeps his hands close to his face. He loves his blanket next to his face and he likes to fuss himself to sleep. Sadie likes to lick his feet and he will 'dance' when Sadie tries to kiss him. He's also independent, he likes to figure things out for himself and yes, I can tell this about him and he's only 1 month old. Did I mention that he only wakes about about 1-2 times a night? Yes, I know that I'm blessed!

I know that it may sound weird but I'm sort of 'sad' that he's a month old. I know that's silly but I see him growing and making little accomplishments and I just want him to stay little for a while and I know he will. Do other moms feel that way too? I hope so...

Diaper Rash

Diaper Rash-it's a pain in the backside that's for sure. We're on our third type of medicine from the doctor to help clear it up. It's not too horribly bad, it's just one small spot that just will not go away and the pain it's causing Benjamin is just KILLING me every time I change him. You see, I'm breastfeeding him and he's one of those good ol' boys that needs a new diaper after every feeding-I didn't know you could go through that many diapers in a week!

On the flip side, Ben's growing steadily and we're meeting the expectations of our pediatrician so now we don't have to go back to the doctor every few days for weight checks. Hopefully we won't have to visit the doctor, as much as we do like him, until his 2 month checkup.

We ventured out and took Benjamin to Sunday School this past Sunday and he did pretty well. He started to get a little fussy but Rob just got him to sleep and then all became well again. Maybe next week we'll try attending the worship service and seeing how he likes the nursery. Maybe.

Tonight is the first night that I've been home alone with Benjamin. Rob is back at work and my mother went back to Cincinnati this weekend so it's just Benjamin, Sadie, and I. So far so good, he's sleeping right now and he even sleeps most of the night. He only wakes up about 3 times a night and once I give him what he needs, he falls right back asleep-I'm lucky, I know.

Benjamin's hair is getting some darker tones in it and it's about the color of my blonde streaks in my hair. His eyes seem to be getting a crisper blue color, before they looked dark like a sapphire. Cutting his nails has been easy, I'm glad someone gave me the advice to do that while he's sleeping.

Well, my hour of 'peace' has come to an end. I hear Benjamin up and ready for his last feeding of the night and the laundry needs folding. Anyone have a tip on how to fold polo shirts? I always used to hang them up but I need to learn to fold them...

Labor of Love

Labor of Love. This phrase sums up the past two weeks of my life. I've realized since the arrival of Benjamin Cole on Sunday, September 14, 2008 at 3:59 am that my role in life has officially changed: I'm Benjamin's mom-no ifs, ands or buts. Everything that I do now, I do out of love for my new son and everyday I'm thanking God for giving us such a perfect little boy. My 7 lb. 10 oz. and 20" long son is a true joy to have around. Sure, I've got those 'baby blues' right now where I'll just start crying when he looks at me a certain way but I know that roller coaster will soon pass by. I even have a tear in the corner of my eye writing this. Benjamin is so GOOD. He's really easy to take care of. We've already figured out what he likes and what he doesn't like for the most part and of course his tastes are constantly changing. He's also fun to have around. Sure, he can't do much right now but he has his shining moments. He does this thing where he tries to 'kiss' my lips and he doesn't seem to do this with anyone else. It's a me-and-him kind of moment. He sits with Rob watching football and he won't sit with me the way he does with Rob. I find myself praying more than I ever had before and I know God hears my prayers. Our lives have changed so much these past 10 days and I keep finding myself thanking God over and over again that everything turned out alright. We couldn't be more blessed: We have a steady income, a roof over our heads, a God who takes care of us, wonderful family and friends, a good dog, and a healthy baby boy. To sum up my feelings about my new life, I'd have to say the following: This is fun, I like being a mommy.

Contractions and Still No Benjamin

We've had contractions and false labor since the last hospital visit but still no Benjamin. I'm to the breaking point of where I'm just simply tired. Tired of waiting, tired of uncomfortable, tired of everything pregnant-I'm even hating maternity clothes now.

I can't complain though-we've had it really good lately after having it so rough and he's appearing to be perfectly healthy. These pictures were taken last week and we found out that he has hair! We didn't even know that you could see that on an ultrasound. Does anyone want to take a guess what color hair he'll have when he arrives? I'm banking on really blonde but my husband and mom think that it will be red since that's been my color and Rob's when he was younger. Any guesses? Here's the picture of his hair:

Here's a picture of his profile-I think he has distinct features and I'm so curious to see who he looks like. Once again, he's sucking his fingers.

We'll see where the week takes us and hopefully we have baby by this weekend...hey a girl can hope can't she? We just hope that we don't go into labor this Saturday when the Kentucky Wildcats take on MTS at Commonwealth Stadium. We just don't want to be stuck in THAT traffic:-)

Right now these are the only pictures that we have of our son but we have to admit that they are some good ones. The first one was taken around 18 weeks and we actually got to see this picture in 4D which was amazing since he was swatting his hands across his nose the entire time. The second picture was done more recently at 32 weeks when the doctor thought my water broke. We had to meet with a perinatologist at that point to do a study on him to see where he stood as far as maturity goes-this is when we found out that he was around 5.5 lbs. and at that early he should have been around 3.5 lbs....Can anyone see why we think we're having a big boy? All is well at this point and we are just waiting for his arrival!